Last night, after a two and a half hour conversation, one of the staff have his life to Christ and asked God to break him.
I don't know if any of you have heard the song "Our God" by Chris Tomlin. If you haven't, I suggest getting on the Youtube and look it up.
Our God is Greater.
Our God is Stronger.
God, You are higher than any other.
God you are healer,
Awesome in Power
Our God, Our God.
This song rings so true for me today. And not just today. During O-week here at MBC, we sang 'How He Love Us', the version done by David Crowder. How is is that the God of the Universe loves us?!
And if our God is for us then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?
I find it strange. There have been so many times here that I haven't understood anything, and so many times where I feel like everything I've ever experienced has led me up to this summer, this job, and this experience.
Last week I needed perspective. Last week I was tired and grumpy, and I honestly wondered what this life of mine was for. I forgot about my life outside of MBC. I felt consumed. I felt like I had nothing outside of this place and all my friends didn't exist. All my problems and ambitions that I had at the end of this year at Redeemer were lost in the mumble and jumble of a new life.
But this life is good. This life is one where I have no choice but to serve. And I have felt God speak through me. Last night, I don't remember everything, but I do remember feeling the presence of God and He was there. He was real. And he took a hold of that young man's life and is going to change it.
Oh, how he loves us so,
Oh how he loves us
How he loves us so.
Have you ever been in a place were you felt completely embraced by God? Have you ever disappeared in place of God's glory? Have you ever let God ruin you? Break you? Have you let him put the peices back together?
I don't know all of you. Some of you are people who are familiar to me, some of you are passers-by in the cyberspace roads and cities. But most of you are people whom I do not have a functioning relationship with. But my bet is that you've dropped in either not knowing God, or refusing to know Him.
There is no logic to explain God. He is real. He loves us. But we need to let him break us.
I want to share a story with you. I'm going to pour my heart out in cyberspace. It might not be pretty.
The week before I came to MBC, I was a person going through motions. I was emotionally involved with a guy friend who wasn't emotionally involved with me. I was dealing with receiving grades that didn't reflect what I learned in courses. In fact, these grades are non-redemable, and may prevent me from going to Grad school. I had a tumultous year. I was taking credit for things that weren't in my hands, but God's. I treated some people with complete disrespect. I couldn't turn to God. Devotions were dry. My roommate's life was under fire because of some personal things that were going on with her. I felt far from God.
Then, that week, home by myself, he broke me.
I spent a lot of time watching Grey's Anatomy. I know this seems illogical. How on earth does Grey's Anatomy break you? Well, here's how.
Slowly, I began to realize how alike these characters I was. And I realized how self-dependent I was, and that I was making an idol of myself. I wasn't letting God do his job. I couldn't trust him to provide for me, and lead me. I had my own ideas. Then, God called out to me in the darkness of the basement. And I cried. Three nights in a row I cried myself to sleep because I was broken and I wanted to be with God again. Me, the girl who was an RA, organized a mission trip to Mexico, became EIC for The Crown. I was broken down, and shattered, and ruined. And when I got to MBC, I wasn't excited or sure, and I definitely didn't think I had what it took to be Community Life (ie. Mentor, Friend, RA) for 94 summer, high-school and college aged students. I was like Jonah. I was in the belly of the whale telling God not to send me.
And then, God used me anyways. He told me to grow up. He got a hold of me, forced me to read his Word, discover that I'm called to love him, and love others, and change my life accordingly.
It's a strange feeling when you realize it isn't about you. It's a refreshing feeling when you realize it isn't about you. It's even better when you realize that every person in the Bible felt like this when God called them.
I serve the God of the universe. He gave all of himself on the cross. I have to give him all of me.
Word of the Day: Redemption
Quote of the Day: "I always wanted to be a knight and have everyone look up to me and be all awesome." "Knights serve the King."