Upon Return

It takes a bit of time to come back from a trip like the Mexico Missions one that I took on Reading Break. I don't know about the rest of the team, but I felt incredibly complacent. Coming back to Redeemer is usually exciting (and it was at 6am last Sunday morning when I finally made it to my bed), this week has been a week of going through the motions.

I have been to Juarez/El Paso before. Many, many time before. It was wonderful to see some of the people down there that I have missed (it had been nearly 3 years since I'd been down), and it was wonderful to see the communities growing and projects expanding. It was heart breaking that LCI had lost many staff members due to the threat of violence. It was heartbreaking to hear stories of people taking refuge in the USA after being shot by the cartel, or after having family members shot.

I realized, this trip, that the problem is on both sides of the border, something I had never really paid attention to before. I've always done a trip like this on the Mexico side, staying in compounds in one community or another, but always in Juarez. I had never had the opportunity to really experience the shelters or people in El Paso. I had never heard the cries of people on that side of the border. It made me wonder: Which side of that border is God calling me to?

So, as I process the stories people have told me regarding their situations, as I continue to do research on the political construction of this area, and continue to see the hope of the next generation that Juarez may be a God-glorifying city, I come back and struggle with myself and my ambitions.

I had my interview yesterday for Editor-in-Chief of The Crown, and it went well. Assuming Senate approves my name, I'll be the EIC for the 2011/12 year. I also wrote two midterms this week and completed an art project for my History of Mathematics course. But this whole week, I have been asking myself, "What's the point?"

I was talking with one of my friends today, expressing my frustrations. I know that God wants me down there. I know that it is where I feel most at home. It is the place where I truly saw Christ for the first time. It is the place where God is leading me. So, why, I asked her, why am I here? It's a questions we've all been asking. She made me recall that my first year here, I felt like I needed to be. She reminded me that God has a plan for me here, too. She reminded me that He has put ambitions and goals in my heart to be educated, because He is preparing me. She reminded me that, as pointless as it seems right now, God has a reason for it.

But I still don't understand, when there are people who simply need to be loved, why I am here. All I can do is offer everything I am to my God, and trust that I'm still at Redeemer for a reason. And know that next year, my calling is to make The Crown a student newspaper glorifying to Him.

So, here are some pictures from various cameras on the trip. I don't think any of these were actually taken by me.

Word of the Day: Pretense

Quote of the Day: "I wonder if that dog understands English, or just Spanish." Kory

S'a Crazy Saturday

I tried really hard to find a nice video of something or other to put up here, but I really couldn't find anything to fit the mood. Today has been an emotional rollercoaster. I think it is because everything that needs to get done is getting done slower than I had hoped, which is putting me a little bit behind schedule. I mean, I don't think I have done a solid amount of homework in about a week.

Yet, in all of this, I can't believe how amazing God is, or how He has everything in control. Trusting is always the hard part.

Word of the Day: Mounted

Quote of the Day: "I need someone to mount my shoulders...Oh wait, someone is literally mounting my shoulders!" - Andrew

One Week Away

We will be keeping a blog for family and friends, prayer partners and Redeemer community to access during and after the trip. It can be found here.

May you have a blessed weekend.

Word of the Day: Basically

Quote of the Day: "And then the scissors came out." Krisbo

Ministry?

If you are a reader who knows me personally, you know that I have been planning a service trip to Juarez, Mexico. Well, in 17 days, myself and 22 other Redeemer students will be flying down to El Paso, Texas for a week of learning, serving, and trusting. The planning process has been incredible. I have seen God's hand move in ways I never could have imagined.

The idea popped into my head after a devotion with my dorm last January or February. I ignored it for a while, but it kept coming back. So finally, I prayed, long and hard, trying to make out what God wanted. It was pretty clear. Mexico.

It seems to be a place that keeps popping up in my life. In fact, some of my most profound moments with God have happened in the desert city of Juarez.

I am excited to see what this trip will bring. I am encouraged by the incredible group of students going down. They remind me daily that my trust is in the Lord; creator of heaven and earth, and that He loves me, and will protect me.

So, readers, I ask for your prayers. As the final few weeks before the trip, I ask that you pray that everything continues to fall into place. And I ask that you pray for us as we go down. For safety, for protection from the devil, and most of all, that we may love all people. For I continue to realize, day after day, that I am called to love and serve.

Here I am, Lord. Send me.

Word of the Day: faith

Quote of the Day: "If we discover a desire within us that nothing in this world can satisfy, also we should begin to wonder if perhaps we were created for another world." C. S. Lewis

It's Out!

There are a few exciting things happening in my life. God is Good.

1) The Crown has published its second issue. It can be found here.

2) By God's Grace, I have been working on organizing a trip to Juarez, Mexico. For those of you who have followed by blog for a while, you may know that I love the city of Juarez. My experiences there, in a large part, have shaped me into who I have become. Last April, God put it on my heart to get a Redeemer team to go down and serve the people of Juarez. I would like to keep you, the readers, updated on how things progress. I ask for one thing: prayer. Please pray that God blesses the preparations and planning of the trip. Please also pray that God leads the right group of people to take part in this trip. If you have any questions, leave me a comment.

God Bless.

Word of the Day: intrinsic

Quote of the Day: "Good, now that everyone's here, I can take off my pants." -Amanda Fraleigh

5 More To Go.

Disclaimer: I am really excited to have only 5 blog entries left until 100. I feel that is a pretty cool accomplishment. Perhaps we'll have a party.

I am becoming increasingly annoyed with the 'go go go' attitude back here in Canada. I find that there are just not enough hours in the day to do everything, or to be everywhere that we need to be. Where on earth did we get this mind-frame that time is money? It's ridiculous!

I have been spending some time developing and trying to maintain my friendships. This past week, since being home, has been filled with a mountain of coffee dates, social gatherings, half an hour travel times from the library to my dorm (a normally 3 minute walk), and late night chat sessions with random people. I'm so happy! And yet, I hate having a social life. It's taking away from everything that I need to do- school work, sinfonia, and class. Not to mention the bitter slack of devotions.

On another note, my roommate was intently watching me type last night. She pointed out that when I type, I only use 4 fingers on each hand, and raise my pinky fingers up like I'm English or something. She (and I) thought it was really funny. But I don't use my pinky fingers for really anything (with maybe the exception of the flute). I don't even use them that often in piano. I find they are these little fingers that are missing the muscles to do anything mildly useful. So instead, I just kind of point them up to the sky so that they are out of my way and move on with life. I tried to use them once upon a time for typing and it slowed me down so much that I got annoyed and went back to my old ways.

Oh well.

"Blessed is the man who always fears the Lord." Proverbs 28: 14

The Mexico Chronicles

I feel as though, in order to tell you about the week, this entry is going to come in 2 parts. The part you will read, and the part to look at (yay for photos!)

To tell you everything won't work. To tell you what we did will seem cliche. Something about describing these sorts of trips always seems the same. We worked, we prayed, we played. Our lives were flipped upside down, and no one wanted to go home. It's always the same old story. I don't know if it differed a lot for us. We built stairs, painted a house. We slept in host homes, and we were more blessed by the kindness of the people we worked for and with, then perhaps they could be blessed by us.

I feel like God taught us all about ourselves. The week was filled with interesting surprises. My favourite was devotions. We read through Proverbs, the chapter according to the day. It was interesting to see how those chapters touched on everything we were seeing and dealing with throughout the whole week. Proverbs 13-23 (because that's the week we were gone) talked about greed, fools, wisdom, families, social injustice, drinking, being kind to the poor- everything! I feel humbled by everything.

What defined the week for me was the beauty of Cancun. While most people only know about the hotel zone, and that is all they see when they travel there, we spent the week in the city, with the people. It's an entirely different world. Knowing that most of us North Americans and Europeans are completely ignorant to the real Cancun. We would travel from our host home to the church every morning and walk down the slums of the city and see a bush, full of the most vibrant of flowers. Constant reminders that everything we saw was God's creations. Everyone we talked to belonged to Him.

I feel like people go on these trips with the self-righteous mind frame. We are helping those who are less fortunate so that we can be right with God. But then again, what sort of mind fram should you go in with? Honestly, it isn't your mind that needs changing. It's your heart. I went into this trip with an open heart. I wanted God to break me, and humble me and teach me. That's what He did.

I feel like I learned to be more soft-spoken. Or to just not speak at all. Watching things, listening to conversations, seeing God's creation, those are the experiences you learn from. Or at least, I learned from.

That being said, here are some photos of what we did, what we experienced and the beauty of the Caribbean.

Como Estas?

For the translation, my title says 'How're you?" And I ask that honestly.

I feel that for me, the next few blog entries are going to be a culmination of the past 14 days. 14 days, so much lfe, and no blog. I can't wait to tell you all of what I've experienced the last 2 weeks. I don't have the time to sit down and complile all my thoughts yet. First I have one more class, a book to return, Communal, studying, unpacking and tomorrow a midterm to take care of. After that, I will be able to sit down and think about all that I have learned, and hopefully share as much as I can with you.

Until then, eagerly await the 'Chronicles of Cancun'. And a few Odes to lovely people we met.

Tell me all how you are doing. If I learned anything, it is that relationships and friendships are much more important than time.

Como Estas?

Adios Amigos!

Forgive my spanish. I just wanted to say goodbye. I will be gone for the next 14 days. (14 days! What a ridiculously long time to not be able to blog!) I feel like I would love to take you all with me, and post photos daily. But unfortunately, there is no internet access where I am.

On an entirely different note, some humour from the past few days. Yesterday I was hanging around the school after a midterm. One of my friends, Jay, came around and we were talking about how we were tired and that we wanted naps. My last name is Knapper (K is silent) so he found it very amusing that I wanted to take a nap. Asked me if I took a lot of naps. Gee, because I've NEVER heard that line before.

Relief is in sight. Midterms for me have come to an end (thank Goodness!) So tonight I am focusing on getting my laundry done so that I can pack for Mexico!

See you all in 2 weeks! May God Bless you!